A Lifelong Search For Ideals Amidst Conflict
Peter Mahoney reflects on his Vietnam War experience, his role in the anti-war movement, and the lessons shared in his memoir.
Peter Mahoney, a Vietnam War veteran and prominent figure in the Vietnam Veterans Against the War movement, takes us on a deeply personal journey in his memoir I Was a Hero Once. From his time serving as an infantry lieutenant in Vietnam to his pivotal role in the Gainesville Eight trial, Mahoney’s life has been one of searching for ideals, confronting personal and political challenges, and ultimately, finding purpose. In this candid interview, Mahoney reflects on his experiences, the profound impact of the Vietnam War on his perspective of patriotism, and the journey that led him to write this powerful book for his children and future generations. His story is one of resilience, self-reflection, and the continuous search for meaning in a world often clouded by conflict and uncertainty.
A powerful narrative that explores the complexities of war, patriotism, and personal transformation.
What led you to write about your experiences in “I Was a Hero Once” rather than keeping them private?
As I said in the book:
I wrote this book for two reasons. First and foremost, I wrote it for my children. Their experience of me is as a slightly boring “soccer dad,” ordinary and unremarkable. I wanted them to know who I was and what I did before I became their dad. More importantly, I hope the book can be inspiring to the entire younger generation they represent, who will have to deal with the mess of a world that we have left them. The second reason is that when I was young, I had hoped that my actions would “make a difference,” but I’m not so sure if they amounted to “a hill of beans,” as Humphry Bogart famously intoned. If my actions did not change the world, then I dream that maybe my stories can.
“I wrote this book for two reasons. First and foremost, I wrote it for my children.” – Peter Mahoney
How did the process of writing about your time in Vietnam help you process the emotions tied to those experiences?
At the time that I went to Vietnam, I knew in my heart that the war was wrong, and that participation in it was a morally unacceptable choice. I made a conscious decision to put those feelings aside and to do my duty as a soldier. By writing about what I did and why I did it, I have been able to turn what was essentially a negative experience into something positive, so that, hopefully, others can learn my mistakes.
How did your role in the Vietnam Veterans Against the War movement influence the narrative in “I Was a Hero Once”?
My involvement with Vietnam Veterans Against the War – particularly the events surrounding the Gainesville Eight trial – fundamentally changed my notion of patriotism and my view of the US government as “the good guy” in world events. I stopped believing in the great and good America that I had learned about in the sanitized version of history taught to me in grade school and high school. This mistrust permeates the entire narrative.
In your opinion, what sets “I Was a Hero Once” apart from other memoirs about the Vietnam War?
What sets this book apart is that it is NOT a memoir about the Vietnam War. It is a book about a lifelong search for ideals to believe in. Certainly, my time in Vietnam was a defining element of that search, but it is a single chapter – albeit a crucial one – in a much more complex life.
What part of your personal journey in the book do you feel most connected to, and why?
My time with VVAW and my time with the New York Vietnam Veterans Memorial Commission are what I feel most connected to, because I was doing work I believed in, and where I felt most like the person that I envisioned myself to be.
How did your time in Russia and your marriage there shape your views, and how is that reflected in the book?
At the time I went to Russia, I was a forty three year old vagabond activist with two failed marriages and a penchant for picking up and running away from my life every few years to start something new. Going to Russia seemed like it was just the latest episode in that pattern. Yet my marriage, the birth of my children, and my time in Russia fundamentally changed my life, introducing stability and long-term commitment where before there was none. I gave up trying to save the world and focused on providing for my family. The ramifications of that decision provide the basic outline for the book.
What advice would you give to fellow authors who wish to write about deeply personal and challenging life experiences?
I would advise two things. First, don’t give up. It took me twenty years to write this book (forty if you count the time I was thinking about writing it). I had to eke the manuscript out a sentence, a paragraph, a page at a time. Second, be true to your readers by being true to yourself. Don’t sugarcoat difficult things. You know in your heart what you did and why you did it. Put it in the book.
