Balancing Life as a Grief Specialist
Gary Roe shares his journey from personal loss to becoming a grief specialist, emphasizing writing’s healing power and discussing his impactful books, spiritual insights, and future projects to support the grieving.
In the realm of grief recovery, few voices resonate as deeply and compassionately as that of Gary Roe. With nearly four decades of experience, Gary has dedicated his life to offering solace and healing to those navigating the turbulent waters of loss. His journey from a background marked by personal pain and loss to becoming a beacon of hope for countless individuals is both inspiring and transformative. As a former missionary, pastor, and hospice chaplain, Gary has touched lives across various stages of grief and faith, bringing a unique blend of empathy, wisdom, and spiritual insight to his work. His ability to connect with grieving hearts and guide them toward healing is a testament to his profound understanding of the human soul’s resilience.
Gary Roe’s literary contributions have been nothing short of remarkable. As a multiple award-winning author of over 20 books, he has crafted works that not only address the complexities of grief but also offer practical tools for healing. His book “Shattered: Surviving the Loss of a Child” stands as a testament to his ability to tackle the most devastating of losses with grace and empathy, providing a lifeline to grieving parents. Meanwhile, “Grieving the Write Way Journal and Workbook” highlights the therapeutic power of writing, a method Gary himself has used to navigate his own grief. Through his books, speaking engagements, and online courses, Gary continues to empower individuals to face their pain, embrace healing, and ultimately find hope. His unwavering commitment to helping others heal is a gift to all who encounter his work.
Your journey into grief counseling and writing began with your own deeply personal experiences of loss and pain. How did these early life experiences shape your approach to helping others navigate their grief?
I was raised in an environment of mixed messages and sexual abuse. I experienced massive losses in childhood and during my teen years. As I experienced healing in my life, I found myself wanting to help other wounded hearts heal and grow. This has been my mission since my late teens.
Yes, we have to be ready to heal…or heal a little. So much of grief and healing is timing.” – Gary Roe
In your book Grieving the Write Way Journal and Workbook, you emphasize the power of writing as a tool for healing. Can you share more about how writing helped you personally through your grief, and why
you believe it’s such an effective method for others?
At the age of 15, soon after the sudden death of my dad, I started writing poetry. I found myself emoting as I wrote. I cried. I paced and talked to myself. I yelled and screamed.
Writing opened an avenue for my heart to express its anguish. Sadness, confusion, anger, fear, anxiety, and guilt spewed out of me, one word at a time. Expressing myself felt good and relieving. Keeping a journal became a habit.
Writing steadies our hearts enough to express our emotions in a healthy and productive way. It slows our spinning minds down enough to get our thoughts on paper and begin to process them. Writing gives us a safe place to express and process spiritual questions, doubts, and fears. It allows us to share our frustrations about our relationships in an honest and uncensored manner.
Writing can become a powerful habit that can help us navigate life in general. What we don’t express stays locked in our hearts and often becomes some of the baggage that weighs us down.
Your book Shattered: Surviving the Loss of a Child addresses one of the most devastating losses a parent can experience. What was the most challenging aspect of writing this book, and how have you seen it impact the lives of grieving parents?
I wanted to write a book that met parents in their grief, connected with their hearts, and gave them hope amid this shattering loss. I knew this was an almost impossible, Mount Everest type goal, but God enabled me to write a book that was, frankly, beyond me. Grieving parents write to me all the time, saying how transformative and helpful Shattered was for them. It continues to be my best-selling book.
“Writing can play a massive part in the grief and healing process. Writing steadies our hearts enough to express our emotions in a healthy and productive way.” – Gary Roe
As someone who has served as a college minister, missionary, pastor, and hospice chaplain, you’ve interacted with people at various stages of grief and faith. How do you approach the spiritual aspects of grief in your counseling and writing?
As much as possible, I try to meet people where they are in their grief journey, including their spiritual life, and love them there. The impact of loss on our souls is massive, and how we process this matters greatly. I believe that Jesus Christ is the ultimate grief expert. In the Bible, He is called a “man of sorrows, one well-acquainted with grief.” He empowers me to love people where they are, as they are, which brings a sense of safety and healing. We all need healing at the soul level. Our soul – our heart – is who we are.
Your work has been widely recognized and featured in various media outlets. How do you balance the demands of writing, speaking, and being a grief specialist while also maintaining your own emotional well-being?
This kind of balance is always a moving target. I try to maintain good, healthy boundaries, while remaining flexible enough to meet needs as they arise. My wife is my greatest asset in this. She can quickly see the warning signs that I’m leaning a bit too much in any direction. I also have several invaluable mentors whom I touch base with regularly.
Looking ahead, are there any new projects or topics you are passionate about exploring in your writing or speaking engagements that you feel could further support those dealing with grief?
I’m excited about producing more courses for my online school, Overcoming Grief. These courses will address issues such as anxiety, depression, guilt and forgiveness, changing relationships, and walking with God in suffering. I am also planning workshops on these topics as well. By request, I’m currently writing my own life story, which will hopefully be published early next year. If I can recover, heal, and grow, anyone can.
