PHOTO: Award-winning author and psychotherapist Mark Gorkin, also known as “The Stress Doc”™, inspires audiences with his unique blend of humour and insight.
A Vibrant Journey Into Stress, Grief, And Creativity
Award-winning author Mark Gorkin discusses his innovative approaches to stress management, grief, and resilience, blending psychotherapy with humour and storytelling to create heartfelt connections and inspire emotional growth across generations.
Mark Gorkin, a beacon of insight and creativity, has long been a transformative force in the realm of mental health and wellness. Known affectionately as “The Stress Doc” ™, he seamlessly intertwines his expertise as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and psychotherapist with his unique flair for humour, making his work both engaging and profoundly impactful. Gorkin’s numerous titles, including the award-winning illustrated children’s book Where Is Charlotte?, showcase his ability to address complex themes such as stress, grief, and resilience through a playful and relatable lens.
His literary contributions extend beyond enchanting tales for children, delving into the intricacies of adult emotional landscapes with works like Practice Safe Stress and Fierce Longing…Fiery Loss. Each book is a testament to Gorkin’s remarkable ability to transform personal experiences into universal lessons, blending therapeutic wisdom with a touch of humour. His innovative approach encourages readers to confront their struggles with a light heart, fostering a sense of hope and connection in challenging times.
As an author and speaker, Gorkin captivates audiences with his signature blend of psychohumour and poignant storytelling, inviting them to explore the depths of their emotions while finding solace in laughter. His pioneering initiatives, including the creation of psychologically humorous rap music through Shrink Rap ™ Productions, further illustrate his commitment to redefining mental health discourse. The impending interview in Reader’s House magazine offers a unique opportunity to delve deeper into the mind of this extraordinary author, whose work continues to resonate with countless individuals navigating their own journeys of stress and resilience.
How does your background as a psychotherapist influence the themes and approaches in your book “Practice Safe Stress: Healing & Laughing in the Face of Stress, Burnout & Depression”?
Practice Safe Stress draws on my years of experience as a clinician and trauma-organizational consultant, as well my own personal experience dealing with burnout and depression. The book outlines and explores many manifestations of past and present trauma and loss – from the loss of health to the loss of a love. The book also offers “Safe Stress” models and strategies.
Perhaps most important, is sharing my own angst-filled journey, for example, burning out as a doctoral student. I reflect on my Phoenix-like transformation: a year later, discovering my “Psychohumorist” ™ voice as a radio and TV “Stress Doc ™.” I even began pioneering the field of psychologically humorous rap music, calling it, naturally, Shrink Rap ™ Productions. Poking gentle fun at my own flaws and foibles, I hope to role model the wise words, of psychoanalyst, Dr. Ernst Kris: “What was once feared and is now mastered is laughed at.” And as the Stress Doc inverted, what was once feared and is now laughed at… is no longer a master!
“Stress is not all bad; acute stress can be energising, motivating timely self-examination.” –Mark Gorkin
In “Fierce Longing…Fiery Loss: Relearning to Let Go, Laugh & Love,” you explore grief and loss. What inspired you to write this book?
The inspiration is simple: My ex-partner had a granddaughter that I was crazy about; and the feeling was mutual. In fact, Charlotte’s love of playing Hide-and-Seek with me was the catalyst for another book. (See question below.) I knew Charlotte from the time of her birth till she was 3 and-a-half. Alas, when my ex ended our ten-year relationship (our basic makeups were too different), the family thought it best to terminate my relationship with Charlotte. Without a doubt, it was one of the most painful losses on my life’s journey. I did a lot of grieving in support groups; wrote a lot of angry and poignant poetry. “Fierce Longing” became a pathway for finding some peace, and eventually morphed into a vessel for all kinds of loss-inspired poetic writings, Shrink Raps ™, and psychological essays.
Your children’s book, “Where Is Charlotte? Or Where Is ______?,” combines psychology with playful poetry. How do you balance these elements to engage young readers?
The synergy of psychology and playful poetry is achieved by having a diverse and relatable character engaged in a universal and familiar adventure – e.g., the game of Hide-and-Seek. A little hero gets extra bonus points if she’s fun and feisty. Charlotte’s refrain when you incorrectly guess her hiding place… (“Is she in a cave of pillows”): “No she’s not!”
Heartfelt connection occurs: 1) when your narrative is sung to the tune of a classic children’s song, like Frere Jacque, 2) there’s a simple and playful rhyme scheme, and 3) when captivating with colourfully vibrant, every day and fanciful illustrations. For example, Charlotte boldly proclaiming, “Even though you’re bigger, I’ll ROAR like a tiger,” paired with a picture of a powerful tiger in the jungle. (And of course, kids and adults are encouraged to ROAR along with Charlotte.)
Finally, Where Is Charlotte? is more than just a reading experience: Children are encouraged to share their authentic voice, to affirm a clear “No,” to howl and growl, jump up and down, and give loving “bear hugs” … while imaginatively discovering their own hiding places.
What was once feared and is now mastered is laughed at.” –Mark Gorkin
As a “Motivational Psychohumorist,” how do you incorporate humor into your writing to address serious topics like stress and trauma?
For starters, I like playfully edgy titles e.g, “Practice Safe Stress,” or my self-described Psychohumorist ™ moniker. (Of course, I let my audience decide where the emphasis on that word should go).
And when you can tweak a big ego, people usually love it. For example, a ditty to the tune of the old classic, “Tea for Two,” now renamed “Humili-Tea for Two: The Narcissist’s Version”:
You for me, and me for me
Oh how nurturing you will be
Forget “To be or not to be”
Just simply think of Me, Me, ME!
As the acclaimed writer and humourist, Mark Twain, observed, “Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.” Consider this ironic pairing of the classical and psycho-comical:
My title for a radio program on burnout: “Breaking out of a hell of a shell… Or, don’t feel too sorry for Humpty Dumpty… he needed to hit bottom!”
Your work emphasizes stress resilience and trauma recovery. How do you ensure your writing remains accessible and relatable to a broad audience?
One way of capturing attention and insuring accessibility is using concise and clear, colourful and descriptive language. For example, highlighting the powerful stress symptom – muscle tension – such as neck or back pain, or the jaw- or teeth-clenching TMJ. Then I nonchalantly note, “We know what TMJ really stands for… Too Many Jerks!” The outpouring of laughter reveals how many can relate.
Another tool is a brief and dramatic vignette:
I recall leading a stress workshop for VA Hospital Nurse Supervisors sitting around a boardroom table. The tension and angst were palpable. Then they introduced themselves: “Walker, W-16, Thompson, W-18, Jones W-20, etc.” My immediate response: “It sounds like you are reporting from your battle stations.” The sighs and nodding heads let me know I was on target. But what really convinced me of their burnout edge… the nurses two favourite slogans: “Do you eight and hit the gate. Nine to five and stay alive.” These ladies knew chronic stress!
Given your extensive experience in stress management, what are the most common misconceptions people have about stress, and how do you address them in your books?
Stress is not all bad; acute stress can be energizing, motivating timely self-examination: what am I feeling about the other, about myself? Am I self-sabotaging, what new decisions and actions do I need to consider, am I ready to humble myself and ask for support or help? Chronic stress or hypervigilance is the danger. Remember, burnout is less a sign of failure and more that you gave yourself away!
A powerful model is my “Four Stages of Burnout”: 1) Physical, Mental, and Emotional Exhaustion, 2) Shame and Doubt, 3) Cynicism and Callousness, 4) Failure, Helplessness and Crisis. One gentleman accused me “of looking in his window”; he clearly saw himself in these stages.
Another favourite stress resilience and cognitive agility model is my formula for Natural SPEED – Sleep, Priorities & Passion, Empathy, Exercise & Diet. Using pithy poetry, I provide tools and tactics for surviving and striving. For example,
“P” stands for “Priority”
You can’t do it all every day.
Urgent means now but important can wait.
Do you know how to “N & N”? –
Just say “No and Negotiate!”
What advice would you offer to aspiring authors aiming to write about mental health and resilience in a way that is both informative and engaging?
Read the previous six answers. Just kidding. Perhaps a quote from a Nobel-Prize winning biochemist, Albert Szent-Gyorgi: See what everyone else has seen and think what no one else has thought. Come up with your own “Shrink Rap” ™ variation. Consider my new communication tactics – the New KISS and Memorable MISS: Keep it Short and Smart (compelling); and Make It Sassy and Surprising (captivating)!
In summary, be observant and listen to your gut. Jot down bullet points about surprising situations – whether they startle or evoke a knowing smile. (Like taking notes to remember a dream.) Then engage in exaggerated or imaginative play, while highlighting some cultural truth, some human flaw or foible. You want to ultimately help people laugh at their own vulnerable parts to encourage self- (and other-) compassion; to better accept our imperfect humanity. As I like to say, you don’t just want to encourage empathy; you need to do more than just walk in another’s shoes: True empathy is when you feel their bunions! (Amen and Women, to that!)
EDITOR’S CHOICE
Joyful, vibrant, and deeply engaging, Where Is Charlotte? celebrates confidence, inclusivity, and adventure through playful storytelling and sing-along charm.
Mark Gorkin’s Where Is Charlotte? Or Where Is _? is a delightful gem of a children’s book that merges playful storytelling with a singable twist. The author blends the timeless charm of “Frère Jacques” with a game of Hide-and-Seek, creating an interactive, musical experience that is as engaging for adults as it is for children. With its lively rhythm and spirited prose, this book is perfect for shared reading and singing.
