PHOTO: Author Jyl CJ Barlow at home in Virginia, where family life inspires her bestselling books and honest storytelling.
Navigating Stepfamily Chaos With Laughter and Love
Jyl CJ Barlow shares her candid journey through stepmotherhood, writing, and personal growth, offering insight, humour and encouragement to blended families navigating their own unique paths.
Jyl CJ Barlow brings wit, wisdom and a refreshingly candid voice to the often-overlooked world of blended families. A bestselling author and award-winning writer, Jyl has carved out a niche with her humorous yet heartfelt reflections on stepmotherhood, marriage and the beautifully chaotic life that comes with it. Her latest book, Sparent, offers a raw and hilarious glimpse into the everyday trials and triumphs of being a “spare parent”, continuing the momentum sparked by her acclaimed debut, What to Expect When You Weren’t Expecting. Whether she’s blogging before sunrise, podcasting beyond her comfort zone, or exploring new adventures on her travel page, Jyl remains committed to sharing stories that resonate. In this interview, she opens up about her writing journey, the unexpected joys of stepfamily life, and the passion that drives her to help others navigate similar paths.
Barlow’s voice is refreshingly honest, hilarious, and deeply relatable—an essential guide for anyone in the world of stepfamily dynamics.
Your latest book, “Sparent,” delves into the role of a ‘spare parent’ in blended families. What inspired you to explore this unique perspective? I became a stepmother a decade ago and was shocked to find how little resources were available to those who take on this challenging role. In the US, there are nearly as many blended families as traditional ones, yet there is little focus on this family type. When I learned how high the divorce rate was among blended families in the first few years, I knew that offering my experience was one way that I could offer a light for those in the stepparenting mud.
“I knew that offering my experience was one way that I could offer a light for those in the stepparenting mud.” – Jyl CJ Barlow
In “What to Expect When You Weren’t Expecting,” you share candid tales of stepmotherhood. How has your approach to blending families evolved since its publication? The overwhelmingly positive feedback this book received gave me so much confidence in my role as a subject expert. I had no idea just how many women were waiting for a book like this nor just how much my stories would resonate in blended family homes. My approach has shifted from simply sharing to serving more as an unofficial coach. I am passionate about keeping blended families whole!
“What to Expect When You Weren’t Expecting” received the Literary Titan Gold Award. How did this recognition impact your writing journey? This award validated both my experience as a stepparent and as a writer. Writing is often very personal and making one’s words public is terrifying. The Gold Award reinforced the importance of sharing my story while confirming that my tone and writing style was worth the read.
Your blog, “Which Way’s Up,” offers insights into your life experiences. How has blogging influenced your book writing process? My blog started simply as a place to journal at the suggestion of my therapist. While many would opt for a notebook on the nightstand, I wanted something that would hold me accountable. By committing to a regular blog, I forced myself to really dig deep week after week. This cadence was carried over into my book writing process. Once I committed to writing a book, setting up a writing schedule specifically for the book seemed obvious. Most of the book was written before sunrise, at the kitchen table, while the rest of the house was still asleep simply because that was where it fit my schedule best.
You co-host the “Whine & Wine” podcast. How does discussing topics verbally differ from writing about them? For me, discussing topics on the spot is much more challenging than writing about them. My co-host is a wordsmith and a lifetime member of Toastmasters so podcasting comes very easy to her. She struggles with writing; I struggle with live discussions. Whine & Wine has gotten me out of my comfort zone. I’m still out of my comfort zone, but I do love the challenge.
Your travel page, “Bearly Home,” showcases your adventures. How do these experiences enrich your storytelling? Because my primary source of content is my family, my travel stories offer a breath of fresh material. I know that there will come a time when my household is down to just two members (my husband and I) so I do look to those stories about travel as the next chapter in my writing life.
Balancing roles as a second wife, stepmother, and writer can be challenging. How do you manage these dynamics in your personal and professional life? Not always well, if I’m being honest! I am very much Type-A with a touch of OCD which means I am driven to stick to whatever plan pops into my head. I am not great at pivoting, though I have gotten better in the last five years. I rely on my husband a lot to give me “permission” to slow down or deviate from my plan as I tend to be too hard on myself if I feel like I am failing in one of those areas.
What key advice would you offer aspiring authors drawing from your own writing journey? WRITE. Write, write, write—no matter what. Writing is a muscle that needs to be worked out regularly. It is easy to forget that, as a writer, we are different from others. Most people do not like to write. If you do like to write, know that you have a gift and use it! There are endless opportunities to freelance whether through community websites, local newspapers, or trade specific blogs. Be brave and offer your talents!
